Purdey cropI can’t believe that Wimbledon fortnight is here again.   There I was, daydreaming the afternoon away on the lawn, waiting for the next daddy longlegs to eat, when I was presented with the irresistible sniff of a fir cone.

An outdoor fir cone!   Needless to say, I leaped into action quicker than you can say Novak Djokovic.

The rules of fir cone tennis are quite simple.   You catch it, bat it to the ground, squash it with your paw and then lie flat on top of it, while preparing to defend it against all comers.   This will stop your opponents scoring anything at all.  If you miss, and especially if people are laughing at you, feel free to tear up the grass in frustration or make a bee-line for one of those pretty orchids and pretend to bite its head off.

Anyone care to join me for a game?